- Echoes -
Sometimes all you’re left with is the echo...
Betrayal is feared in most, and expected in far more than is usually reasoned. Its so easy to create a surreal notion that its real and meant to be. That it holds meaning and knows no boundaries. It once had such a tight hold over me heart that darkness was feared. The promise of tomorrow lingered for only a brief second, before you wiped it clear.
Your own doubt carried with it the emptiness which is now felt only by you. The shadows linger in your every path, and you welcomed them every day. Defeat shows on your face like a mask, and you wear it well. And the story goes...
I take one look at your face and I know im in for a bad night. I know I’ll meet austerity and criticism. I know that I’ll be going to bed tonight feeling nothing but loneliness and anxiety. I think I love you so I lie there still on my side of the bed like a good girl. A girl you manipulate and talk down too. A girl you claim to love yet cant say the words. A girl you once craved and is actually about to have enough of your shit...
You make up excuses almost as fast as you lie. You’re lazy so making an effort for you is asking me not to leave, not actually giving me a reason to stay.
Month after month I feel my soul weaken and for the first time in my life I wonder if im as strong as I always believed I was. Maybe I have just never been faced with these feelings that hold me down. Maybe its just always been easier for me to walk away, and now I sit with you, this thing, this person who doesn’t even know me, yet is with me all the time. Im worried and im scared, because I know if I don’t leave you soon I’ll disappear along with everything else I thought I was. My friends tell me to leave you, and I know in my heart that I need too.
You see its only with you that I feel this sad, this criticized and this controlled. With him I don’t. With him I know who I am and feel happy everyday. He holds me as I fall asleep and I sleep well. He is the one who’s arms are wrapped around me when I think back about how weird and lonely the situation was when I was with you.
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Bernies Poems
Echoes.... By Bernie
